Wednesday, January 30, 2008


The stalker story continues........

This happened around October 2007.

I was admiring myself in the dressing table mirror one day and suddenly my cellphone rang. I picked my phone up and looked at the screen. it was a call from Ron.

Ron: Heyyy.. Want to go bowling tonight with me and Raven?

Ryan: Ya sure! Where and what time?

Ron: Erm... One Utama la.. Around 7.. Do you have extra socks??

Ryan: Yeah i do have extra socks. But i can only make it around 9. Coz i need to take my maid there too to buy a new cell for her sister in Indon.

Ron: Okay! See u there. Bye

Ryan: okay.. Bye

Fast forward a few hours later, it was around 8.15pm. My maid and I were at the Digi Center in front of Giant Supermarket. She was picking out a new cellphone. Finally, she made up her mind and the sales girl had to go up somewhere to get the stock. It seemed like forever. While waiting, i realize this guy was walking through and fro behind me a couple of times already. Awhile later, he just stood behind me and looked at the phones. I looked at him to see if he was cute but he is not so i just looked away and flashed out my phone to make a call to Ron.

Ryan: Hey.. Where are you guys now?

Ron: We're in Burger King now waiting for you.!

Ryan" SERIOUS SHIT?? I'll be there at around 9 okay? byee

Ron" okay see ya

After the phone finally arrived, paid for it, i sent my maid up to the taxi stand so my sister can pick her up. After that, i took a glance at my watch. I'm not late. huhu. but i rushed up to Burger King anyways.. they were sitting at the outdoor seats. as we were talking away, i noticed the same guy from the Digi Center that stood beside me opened the door to the outdoor seating.! i was like.. "EH i saw that guy from the Digi Center just now. so weird that he is here. Ron jokingly said maybe i was being followed. HA HA..

After a couple of minutes, we decided to head to the bowling alley. As i was leaving, a felt a tap on my shoulders. I turned back and looked. This Burger King staff handed me a piece of paper. My mind felt a jolt and i was just stunned there. "Itu orang suruh I kasi u ini" , he said. I opened and read the paper while walking out.. My jaw literally dropped to the ground.!


Kevin Chan

Do you remember me? I am your friend (classmate)
017-3XX XXXX please miss call me


I passed the note to Ron and Raven and they were like.. "fuhyo Ryan got stalked..!" I asked the staff who sent this and he pointed outside, the place where we were seating just now. I just acted all innocent and asked him "Huh? Knapa ngan dia??" LOL. the staff's reply to my question was WEIRD but TRUTHFUL! he said.. "Jangan kisah la.. Itu orang gila sikit ( while doing the twirling thing around his head) cari seks.. ngam laki.. gay.."

HAHA.! really cracked me up but also left my heart pounding. wondering.

Apparently, it hit me that... When i was talking on the phone with Ron, i mentioned.. "BURGER KING, 9pm" he was standing beside me and THATS how he knew we were there. FREAKY!!!

i also saw him a few times after that. he was at the pc fair too!!! i was working giving out Toshiba brochures and suddenly, i SAW him. He SAW me. "shit shit shit".... thats all that was playing in my mind. he SMILED at me. really. i pretended like i didnt see him. he walked a few times past the booth i am working at. i told my girl friend about him. He was standing mere meters away from me and i asked her if he was looking or not. She said nodded and followed by a long "eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"...... LOL. FREAKY~

he found my friendster profile and added me too. around 3 weeks back. wanna see??? he has this really SCARY FREAKY FUCKY pair of eyes.. like those iguana that can move both their eyeballs 360 degree anyhow. gawd..

so being stalked is NOT fun at all you know. so you you still dare to speak out loud about your whereabouts in public??? because you'll never know.. He might be standing beside YOU LISTENING... :)

Monday, January 28, 2008


"How I wish someone would stalk me.. it will be sooo COOL.. " this lustful sentence constantly played in my mind. I used to think being stalked is a BLESSING as you are actually being WANTED, DESIRED, admired.. and looked at..

sometimes, seriously, be careful of what you wish for. here is my story about a stalker..

It was around February of 2007 when i was still in my first semester in college. we had this awfully long breaks in between subjects so my friends and I would usually hang around in One Utama to kill time. on this particular day, we decided to go for bowling.! As i sat waiting for my turn to "masuk longkang" AGAIN, i realized this pink shirt dude had been following us since we got to one utama. he was standing just mere meters away from us. he was writing something. mother nature calls so i needed to take a leak. when i got back, i saw that my friends were crowding in a circle, talking and giggling.. i was SO SO curious...

suspense suspense....! hehe

i asked them with a sheepish smile whats going on. they passed me this note. it says:


i want to be your friends.
can i be friends with you all?
please give me a miss call

Kevin Chan
017-3XX XXXX


apparently the stalker asked a bowling alley worker to pass us the notes. we were confused with his horrible English as we didn't know was he interested in one of us, or ALL of us. so we were like WATEVA~ i only remember bits of what is written as it was a long time ago. sorry.! i studied the note and it was a Rapid KL bus receipt. urgh. so cheap. hmmm... if only he'd written it on a beautiful cologne sprayed heart shaped red paper with beautiful cursive handwriting... that will be so sweet! but TOO BAD~~~ hahaha

as time goes on, this incident
slowly faded into our memories and eventually, into the forgotten realm. LOL. to be HONEST, i was hoping the letter was for ME.! ME ME ME!! hehe!!!! but no one knows the mysterious truth for sure.....

=End of Part I=

to be continued as i am really, really tired.. i promise Part II will make you feel the chill down your spine.. ;) stalkers.......... hmm, are YOU a STALKER????? haha! *gulps*.....

Sunday, January 27, 2008

You and I are CrabS

Ron is missing from my blog. where is he?

anyways, Ron and Pedro* came up with this SECRET code thingy whereby Gays are known as Crabs. so instead of saying "Oh look got GAYS around. hot not??" out LOUD and start getting stares, they use the term "Oh look got CRABS around." when they first used the term i find it kinda silly but being a clever boy, i figured out a reason behind using crab instead of FISH or LALA which apparently is already taken. so yeah. You might think this is silly but heck la. You see, Crabs CANNOT "walk straight" as in.. they walk in a zig-zag pattern, moving side to side. anything but straight. so yeah. we gays are the same. we are crooked. we aren't straight. so yeah. YAY.. now everyone clap for ryan..

oh ya! Ron's boyfriend also came up with SOTONG (squid) to portray how sissy a guy is with his gestures. have you seen a squid move its tentacles? so sissy like. hehe! so yeah. are YOU SOTONG?? =P

oh ya. I'm seeing someone at the moment ;) he is cute, really nice to hug, funny, bubbly. and makes me feel better by constantly reminding me how he likes me just the way i am. he can carry me also! im so heavy leh! so macho of him. haha.! *ahem* he reads my blog too..

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Imperfection- Its the thing that makes us unique

Each and everyone of us are created as a result of our parent's love for one another. As we grow, we are molded into what we are today. Along the way, we meet more people of various backgrounds, lifestyles, appearances, attitude and mentality. Through this, we slowly discover who we really are and which social group do we fit in well.

The truth is, most of us PRETEND to be what we are not. Its like we are wearing an invisible MASK to cover who we really are in order to adapt, liked, and be accepted into a certain category of lavish social status. Sometimes we even judge people scarcely by their appearance. Well, all the time actually. We even throw insults about their imperfections just to feed our ego.

I admit that i am wearing a mask sometimes, pretending to be something i am not. A mask which needs to be shed. A simple night out with my friends left me thinking a lot yesterday until the wee hours. "His boobs is like the whole of Egypt. Like the pyramids." kept echo-ing in my head. The facial expression of being disgusted and wanting to puke after looking at my flabby fatty stomach just kept replaying in my mind. I really didn't expect introducing two of my friends to one another could result into a duo bitch team, shooting at you. i just really felt like walking out on them but heck. I went out with another friend afterwards and i felt much more better for awhile after spilling my hidden emotion.

I'll try not to judge people and laugh about other people's flaws and imperfection along with my friends just for the sake of making myself feel more "perfect"as i know it can cause hurt to others in many ways such as losing their confidence, eating disorder and worst of all, suicide. The simple truth is, we should just take a look at ourself in the mirror and look beyond what lies beneath our skin, or even the invisible mask.

Your Looks and Gay Life

Some gay guys are blessed with drop dead gorgeous looking faces, always making head turn for a second or third glance. often envied. nevertheless, DESIRED.

but what about some gay guys who are not so blessed when it comes to looks.?
hmmm.. you and i don't really know because we don't even bother looking and them again. this is harsh reality that applies not only in the gay world but straight world as well.

Monday, January 21, 2008


my ultimate fantasy is to be in bed with a guy which has..

- a handsome masculine face to enhance horny-ness

- a perfect pouty strawberry red lips to kiss and give blowjobs


-a nice puffy ass for me to sleep on


-the ability to shoot a HUGEE HOT LOAD unlimitedly anytime anywhere

-fuck me all night long?

gosh i'm getting hard. byee!

Boyfriend and Crisis

hmmmmm, now that i am boyfriend-less i think i should start searching for a new one. HEHE.

however i've been doing some thorough thinking. having a boyfriend is quite a burden. let me make a list..

1. you will get emotionally attached. the deeper the emotion poured, the deeper the scar IF things start to go downhill. which is most likely to happen

2. you'll be spending more money. could be in forms of meals, petrol, movie tickets, gifts, phone bill and many many more. if your boyfriend is willing to pay for all these then it is great. but not all boyfriends are rich AND generous at the same time.

3. you are bound to be loyal and cannot flirt anymore. damn it.

4. your relationship with your other friends might deteriorate as you've been spending less time with them.

5. your work and studies might be slightly affected unless you're good in managing and balancing everything, which sadly doesn't apply in my life.

and the list goes on and on and on........

but i still want to have boyfriends! some people change boyfriends like they are changing clothes. so cheap, yet so fabulous. =P maybe i should give it a go

Sweet Surrender

I'm SINGLE. AGAIN.. haha! the breakup was the best thing that could and SHOULD ever happen between Pedro* and I. To sum it all up, it was sweet, rather funny and best of all, strengthened our relationship as friends. best of all, no tears were shed. We were even having so much fun giggling away to the extend we forgotten about our breakup. Anyways, I will always treasure the memories we had together =)

i guess some breakups are just meant to be happy ones. haha

oh ya sorry for the drama in my previous post. so emo. i also learned that some of my gay friends were so worried and concerned during my period of distress. thanks a lot. ;)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Heavy Heart

The sky cried along with me as i fill this page up with words. In another half an hour time, two hearts are about to be pierced, shattered and maybe even scarred. But it is for the best, i suppose. Heavy Heart is the perfect way to describe the way i feel now. Pedro* is the type of guy that loves his freedom. It is through his carefree and bubbly personality that makes people like him so much. In a way i felt i had taken that away from him. It is time to return it and thus, lifting burdens and restoring smiles. I really still do like him. But....

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A little more about me

hmmmm, here are some random stuffs about me:

1. I'm really, really quiet. more of an introvert.

2. I absolutely love to "kap zhai" (check guys out). who doesn't??

3. I get emo very easily

4. I suck in managing my spendings

5. I drive a 16 year old Proton Saga. it is SO SO LOUD and ugly to the extent it annoys people. but im okay with it anyways as long as it can take me places.

6. I drove my car into a drain before. hah!

7. Erm.. i get attracted people who smells good. cologne etc

8. I'm pure Malaysian. Often mistaken as a China man. but heck they're cute! so i take it as a compliment. hehe

9. I admit that im a lousy boyfriend :(

10. I like to flirt :)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Gossip And Yapping

"Gossip And Yapping" echoed in my head. "It is perfect", i thought in my mind. An acronym for GAY.

After putting a few weeks of thorough thought to it with a pinch of support by a few gay friends, the little voice in my head took control of my fingers as it dances across the keyboard, finally registering this blog. Here i am now, typing this post. Ironic.

Hmmm, this blog would be the place where i would pour my emotions, tell my stories, speak the truth, express my feelings, discuss my thoughts and many, many more. I solemnly hope this blog would blossom with readers in time to come.

Oh ya, i forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Ryan by the way :) and.. im GAY! hah!