Monday, September 29, 2008


i just got back from Penang! it was.................................... awesome.!

i'll blog about it soon because im so tired now. i'll remove this post once im done writing about the Penang trip. i need some time to hype down? haha.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Sinner from Heaven

Today was such a gloomy dark day. The weather unravels the way i felt about gay life now.

What my dad told me after i came back from clubbing one night a month ago was entirely true - "you won't know what are people like and their agendas. but they are like sharks lurking in the deadly sea, waiting to eat you up"

i am now still in a state of shock, confused, stunned, shunned and afraid. i want to cry. but on who's shoulders?

worry not, i was not raped or bullied or anything.

just ripped apart

today i learnt my lesson that people cannot be trusted. especially in the gay circle. it is like everyone has their hidden agenda. behind those smile and sweet talks lies a poisoned dagger.

we were like sheeps who took a step into the tiger's den on a "temporary high" ..

it gives me chills now to think that I've almost put my friends' life in jeopardy

a scar was engraved in my heart but it was worth it as now i have snapped out of it

trust me, the gay world is not a place to be if you have a heart like mine. a faint heart. vulnarable heart. an easily shattered heart.

anyway, know who your true friends are and treasure them.

don't go out to parties with people you are not familiar with.

i now know who not to mingle with and be even more careful when knowing someone new.

"You better think twice, watch out or you might just fall under" -Rihanna, Disturbia.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Lonely- The path I have chosen

a lovely song that i love to listen once in awhile

I Believe in You


The path you have chosen
A restless road
No turning back
One day you
Will find your light again
Don't you know
Don't let go
Be strong

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Coeur ouvert
A L'univers
Poursuis ta quête
Sans regarder derrière
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se leve

Suis ton etoile
Va jusqu'où ton reve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu crois si tu crois si tu crois
En toi
Suis la lumière
N'éteins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fonds de toi souviens-toi
Que je crois que je crois que je crois
Que je crois
En toi

Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me too
And when I hold you close
I'll know that is true

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Ugly No More

Before joining "I wanna be a Hottie"

i think this was two years ago when i was 17..

After the intensive program. results guaranteed.

.Ryan Wong.
"I wanna be a Hottie" ambassador

Mini Me

This is me when i was... 3 or 4 years old i think.. still in diapers ;P my mom said she drank lots of soya bean to make all of us "bak bak zheng zheng" haha! thanks mom


i was at my aunt's house with my sister a few days ago just chilling around while waiting for my aunt to get ready to head out somewhere. so yeah i was watching TV and suddenly my sister who was talking on the phone SHRIEKED.!! i looked at her in a bimbotic way..

she explained that as the breeze blew the curtain, she saw THIS........

TOTALLY gross. it shit-ed its own tail off. haha! what a coincidence that it was squashed to death by my aunt (without noticing) as she was closing the sliding door.

Rest in Peace Lizard..

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

My Fatty Bombom Days.....

Fattybombom Days

January 2007- March 2008

Today i bumped into my ex high school teacher in the Tmn Tun Ramahdan Bazaar. she just gave me a fading smile. as if i was a stranger. she then frowned.

"How are you Ryan? What happened to you? Why are you so skinny now?? " she asked, while looking at my body

i was left speechless. almost 20 people said the same thing in the past 3 to 4 months. today i realize how serious it is.

almost everyone including my friends and family said i have SHRUNK and I look too skinny. my family are pretty concerned if i am eating right.

These are the few pictures that i find myself looking crazily skinny and scary

Penang House, April 2008

May 2008, Singapore

September, 2008

Oh ya if you are wondering how did i lose weight, well i exercised. just run run run. i lost around 7kgs in 8 weeks. but being a total noob, i didnt do any resistance after running.. as a result, i'm left with many stretch marks and orange peels on my butt :(

So yeah.. my new target is to have a healthier looking body. Lean, Toned, Slightly muscular.... wow. imagine that. haha. I will try to achieve that! A typical Scorpio trait :) whatever we want, we will strive to get it..

Thursday, September 4, 2008


I decided to post a picture in Axcest Hotshots. I've always wanted to try it out but i just couldn't gather enough man juice to do it. argh. anyways when i finally DID post a picture, it got rejected by the webmaster i reckon.

The Victim

HAHA! To further console myself, I've just assumed that:

A. My Picture is too DARK (but it looks bright on my phone though)
B. My Picture is too GOOD TO BE TRUE
C. They ACCIDENTALLY rejected it
D. They have bad taste

:) hehe im so jobless. i'll try again now with potential ones. why don't you help me out??!! (if you're wondering where my acne scars and pimples all went, its all thanks to my phone camera. its like it comes with auto photoshop you know. hehe. even Nate* agrees )

Picture A

Picture B

Picture C

Picture D

Vote here!haha..
Picture A
Picture B
Picture C
Picture D
None of the Above free polls

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Secret it Out

The secret is out. i finally confessed to my parents and siblings that i am. well, Gay. haha!

no, im not kidding. anyways, im sure you're wondering Why, How and What made me do it.

well here goes.


it started out as a fight over me being "rude" to my maid
so i was given a short lecture which leaded to an argument
as usual, everything settled down eventually and i was asked to apologize to my mom
for being rude to her as well. she was tearing non stop
heart ached to see that.

suddenly i FELT this urge to confess.
feeling really solemn and relentless
i just sat on the bed where my parents were
and just rest my head on my mom's shoulders
arms clenched, eyes shut with a little teary eyes

"Are you ok? something happened outside right? fought with your friend??"

"No" i answered sheepishly.

"Mi, De, do you love me?"

"Of course we do, no matter what..."

instantly i took a glance over at the Holy Picture of Jesus and i took a deep breath of faith in Him and told them i like guys.

it was just a second of silence. " I am gay.. I like guys.. I tried to like girls but i just can't.. Sorry i lied to you all my life.. I didn't want to tell because i don't want to hurt you all.. Will you all disown me?? Do you still love me?"

"Yes of course.! actually we're known it a long time ago. since you were young. you were different. we just kept silent in hopes of you changing. but no matter what, it is okay and we still love you a lot Ryan.."


things are pretty much still the same now. just that i'm loved even more now. seriously. my relationship with my parents and sisters had tremendously improved. especially with my dad. we talk more now as i have nothing to hide. we can even laugh and make jokes now. he even gives me more money to spend now . WEIRD, i know. haha.

Well so far they haven't asked me about my personal things yet such as do i have a boyfriend or not. but im hoping to introduce my future boyfriend to my family. that is if i can ever find the right and BEST BEST boyfriend i can ever hope for.